No Matter What Happens Today
I will still love my mom and she will still love me.
Black lives will always matter.
I will secretly smell the tops of my kids’ heads when I hug them.
The pandemic is still happening.
I will continue to be amused when my husband loses his keys at least once a week.
You can’t have normal holiday celebrations this year. Sorry.
I will never buy that extended vehicle warranty that people keep calling about.
Making fun of disabled people will always be douchey.
My mom will continue to mis-pronounce “peripheral” as “periphial.”
The Electoral College can go f*ck itself.
“Your mom” jokes will always be funny, even if they’re about my mom or your mom or even me.
Democrats need to get better with campaign slogans. “Build back better?” That’s the best we could do? (I’m all for alliteration, but I don’t think it’s ever won any elections.)
Sandwiches that are cut in half taste better than those that are not.
I will continue to believe that racial profiling is unfair when a crime has been committed, yet I will remain confident that whoever stole the BLM sign off our lawn was not black.
Condiments belong IN THE DOOR of the fridge, not on the shelves.
Separation of church and state also applies to Christianity.
That moment when your Cocoa Puffs are not yet soggy but your milk is all brown and chocolatey will remain the closest thing to actual magic some of us will ever see.
Facts are an actual thing.
Babies laughing will always be hilarious.
Your nose is part of your respiratory system. Your mask won’t work unless you cover ALL the holes on your face.
My older sister will always be smarter than me.
We swing-state dwellers will be very happy to not be hearing from all of you from everywhere else for a while. (You’ve all been a lot the past few weeks.)
If men did not exist, women would exclusively wear giant cotton underpants all the time.
Believing 100% of what any politician or political party tells you makes you a rube.
Global warming is still a big fucking deal.
Uninsured people cost us all more money in the long run. This argument has never been about money.
America is built on a foundation of racism and exploiting black and brown people. We will never be “great” until we acknowledge that and make amends.
Politics is personal, especially when you’re voting to limit other people’s right to vote, access to healthcare, ability to get married, or ability to be treated like a human being. That’s especially true if the rights you’re limiting impact one of your loved ones.
Our economy will never thrive as long as there’s a student loan debt crisis and rampant, systemic income inequality.
Separating little kids from their parents is some concentration-camp level bullshit.
I feel no particular duty to “be nice” if “my side” comes out on top today. Not calling out ignorance is how we got into this mess in the first place, isn’t it?
It will be hard to remember all of the crimes and atrocities committed by the Trump Administration over the past four years, but we must.